MERRY YULETIDE TO ALL !!

If you are one of "those" who get their Holy Nights in an uproar over the "Happy Holidays" vs "Merry Christmas" then I feel terrible for you the misinformed Conditioned Christian. Yes, we Christians have adopted this time of year as the birth of the Lord. Did you realized this time of year the celebration is held is kind of ... well ... errr ... stolen?

No one truly knows the exact date of Christ's birth however, as the early leaders of a Christian religion trying to convert the Pagans, combining winter celebrations seemed to be a good concession in enticing new church members.  

Through the centuries the words of Yuletide season somehow transformed into the 12 days of Christmas. (Christmas through the Epiphany)   One Christian holiday to another  .... so in essence it is the celebration of 2 holidays.  Now, point that out if you come across one of "those"!

In some Northern European cultures the season lasted for months so Happy Yuletide season .... and keep that holiday feeling as long as you want!

Reminiscences of an Old Crabby Broad

I’m going to go out on a limb …. tempting  fate …. Whatever …. I’m gonna predict we are all going to be here tomorrow and probably the next day and the day after that and after that and after that …….. 

In my lifetime I have now lived through 5 or 6 dooms days ……..  Let’s see ….

The first was when I was about 12 and my neighbor said she heard from some psychic there was going to be a Zombie apocalypse in 1977 …. We would all be eaten alive in a “Night of the Living Dead” scenario.

Then there was the Nostradamus 1984 prediction that a worldwide nuclear war would annihilate human kind  but …. Oooops ....... it was interpreted incorrectly! The interpreters meant to say 1997. Only the Heaven’s Gate cult took them seriously this time. We know how that went. 

Let’s not forget the Y2K …. Not sure what was going to happen to us then …. Was it our own machines would destroy us because 2000 = "kill humans" in binary code?

Then there was the far-right Christian preacher Wacko ...... they let on the radio ..... who insisted about a year ago that the Book of Revelations prophesied the end. I'm guessing his loving, compassionate, merciful God was going to punish innocent people just to get the evil doers. 

Right now as I type the planets are aligning causing a magnetic shift to the earth's axis where tsunamis will rise, mega-super volcanoes fill with lava ready to explode, earthquake faults shifting, the sun flaring   ……………………………………………………….........….  NOPE  …..  still here!

CAN'T WE POSTPONE ONE OF THEM TILL THE NEXT WEEK?

This is me about now.....

ME + CHRISTMAS +THE END OF THE WORLD ....

'NUFF SAID

THERE ARE 11 OTHER DAYS OF CHRISTMAS YOU KNOW ....

GOO doesn't see what geese have to do with Christmas. He says our goose Christmas decoration is hideous and ridiculous looking.  For the past 2 weeks he has been making it clear he wants me to get rid of my goose display (see left). As a matter of fact there have been threats that there is a "while I'm work" goose-napping about to go down !!!

Today while daughters were standing at the end of the driveway waiting for GOO to pull the car down for them to get in, a car pulls over in front of our house. The lady inside rolled down the window and said to daughters "Excuse me .... Can I ask WHERE did you get that BEAUTIFUL duck" . Half chuckling, oldest told her that I got it online somewhere and that it was a decoy. "Oh" she said, " I have to check into that!" 

When daughters got into car, GOO inquired as to what the lady wanted. They gleefully told him she wanted to know where she could get such a beautiful DUCK! Of course, now that I know the neighborhood is admiring my "DUCK" .... there is no living with me! However, I'm not so sure I want everyone to get one! GOO can only chase away so many!

IRRITATING CRAP MY HUSBAND DOES ... or the man who doesn't know the words to the "Twevle Days of Christmas" ... a working title

My husband  …. God Of Organization …… does nothing when it comes to putting up the Christmas decorations. It is all on me, even the outside lights ……. every other husband’s territory! Oh he will give his opinions ….. not enough lights on that side of the yard …… that looks stupid ….. I don’t like all white lights ….. is that all the lights you are putting up/ have? I tell him every year those who do not help with the decorations HAVE NO OPINION on what goes up …. The "putter-upper" is the decider.

We have a flat landscaped area in our yard that I use for main displays. In past years it has had giant candy canes, a lighted tree .... okay it was lights I strung up to look like a tree .... and lighted grapevine shaped gifts stacked with a bow. The recent gift display always blew over and were a pain in the ass to put together. I decided to donated them to Goodwill ….. I know how generous of me.  Now I had that empty place in the yard and went shopping for a new lighted display.

I hate those blow-up things so, once you eliminate those there isn’t much left out there. My preferred tastes are kind of more “Williamsburg”-ie. I was looking for "1776" and tasteful. Of course,  there is the lighted deer, Eiffel Tower … yes nothing says Christmas like a random French structure …. Snowmen and snowflakes. Then I saw these lighted geese …. Oh I didn’t buy them …… a little more comical than Colonial ….. but it gave me idea as I left the store humming “six geese a laying” …..

I went home to start my search for more real-life looking geese. When I got to my computer I Google’d “lifesize goose decoration” …... up popped DECOYS!!!! I could buy them sitting, standing, eating and of course laying! I ordered one that had detachable feet to stand or lay …. Perfect!

It arrived by FedEX about four days later. Goo thinking it maybe his Christmas present restrained himself from opening the box and announced to me when I got home from work that I had a delivery he left in the basement. Since I did not want any un-necessary comments on my new found prized decoration, I waited till Goo went upstairs to watch TV in bed. When I got my goose decoy out of the box, I was so excited I put him …. I assumed it’s a him … outside in the landscape with a spotlight under the cover of darkness.  I figured I would find a bow to put around his neck and some lighted branch accessories tomorrow.

The next day at work I got a text message from GOO ….. “Where did that goose come from?”. I responded that it was the item in the FedEX delivery. To which he responded ……. “Well, I thought it was REAL and I tried to chase it out of the yard! When it wouldn't move I got closer to it and saw it was fake! “   My co-workers heard shrieks of laughter coming from my office and I filled them in. However, after that no work was accomplished that day. 

The moral of this GOO Christmas tale is:  

GEESE NEED TO DO THEIR A-LAYING SOMEWHERE ELSE!