HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Just as I thought .... we are alllll still here to celebrate another year!

Today is the 8th Day of Christmas ..... see I have pictured THE Maids <------ font="font">AAAAAHHHHHH!

I heard a curious thing today about the 5,000 year old Mayan calendar that caused such a ruckus the last few years. The Mayans did not have Leap years. So that means:

 5,000 years / 4 Leap year cycles = 1,250 days.

1,250 days / 365 average year = 3 years, 155 days

Counting back comes to July 20th, 2009 as the actual date of doom.  

We are still here.

MERRY YULETIDE TO ALL !!

If you are one of "those" who get their Holy Nights in an uproar over the "Happy Holidays" vs "Merry Christmas" then I feel terrible for you the misinformed Conditioned Christian. Yes, we Christians have adopted this time of year as the birth of the Lord. Did you realized this time of year the celebration is held is kind of ... well ... errr ... stolen?

No one truly knows the exact date of Christ's birth however, as the early leaders of a Christian religion trying to convert the Pagans, combining winter celebrations seemed to be a good concession in enticing new church members.  

Through the centuries the words of Yuletide season somehow transformed into the 12 days of Christmas. (Christmas through the Epiphany)   One Christian holiday to another  .... so in essence it is the celebration of 2 holidays.  Now, point that out if you come across one of "those"!

In some Northern European cultures the season lasted for months so Happy Yuletide season .... and keep that holiday feeling as long as you want!

CAN'T WE POSTPONE ONE OF THEM TILL THE NEXT WEEK?

This is me about now.....

ME + CHRISTMAS +THE END OF THE WORLD ....

'NUFF SAID

THERE ARE 11 OTHER DAYS OF CHRISTMAS YOU KNOW ....

GOO doesn't see what geese have to do with Christmas. He says our goose Christmas decoration is hideous and ridiculous looking.  For the past 2 weeks he has been making it clear he wants me to get rid of my goose display (see left). As a matter of fact there have been threats that there is a "while I'm work" goose-napping about to go down !!!

Today while daughters were standing at the end of the driveway waiting for GOO to pull the car down for them to get in, a car pulls over in front of our house. The lady inside rolled down the window and said to daughters "Excuse me .... Can I ask WHERE did you get that BEAUTIFUL duck" . Half chuckling, oldest told her that I got it online somewhere and that it was a decoy. "Oh" she said, " I have to check into that!" 

When daughters got into car, GOO inquired as to what the lady wanted. They gleefully told him she wanted to know where she could get such a beautiful DUCK! Of course, now that I know the neighborhood is admiring my "DUCK" .... there is no living with me! However, I'm not so sure I want everyone to get one! GOO can only chase away so many!

IRRITATING CRAP MY HUSBAND DOES ... or the man who doesn't know the words to the "Twevle Days of Christmas" ... a working title

My husband  …. God Of Organization …… does nothing when it comes to putting up the Christmas decorations. It is all on me, even the outside lights ……. every other husband’s territory! Oh he will give his opinions ….. not enough lights on that side of the yard …… that looks stupid ….. I don’t like all white lights ….. is that all the lights you are putting up/ have? I tell him every year those who do not help with the decorations HAVE NO OPINION on what goes up …. The "putter-upper" is the decider.

We have a flat landscaped area in our yard that I use for main displays. In past years it has had giant candy canes, a lighted tree .... okay it was lights I strung up to look like a tree .... and lighted grapevine shaped gifts stacked with a bow. The recent gift display always blew over and were a pain in the ass to put together. I decided to donated them to Goodwill ….. I know how generous of me.  Now I had that empty place in the yard and went shopping for a new lighted display.

I hate those blow-up things so, once you eliminate those there isn’t much left out there. My preferred tastes are kind of more “Williamsburg”-ie. I was looking for "1776" and tasteful. Of course,  there is the lighted deer, Eiffel Tower … yes nothing says Christmas like a random French structure …. Snowmen and snowflakes. Then I saw these lighted geese …. Oh I didn’t buy them …… a little more comical than Colonial ….. but it gave me idea as I left the store humming “six geese a laying” …..

I went home to start my search for more real-life looking geese. When I got to my computer I Google’d “lifesize goose decoration” …... up popped DECOYS!!!! I could buy them sitting, standing, eating and of course laying! I ordered one that had detachable feet to stand or lay …. Perfect!

It arrived by FedEX about four days later. Goo thinking it maybe his Christmas present restrained himself from opening the box and announced to me when I got home from work that I had a delivery he left in the basement. Since I did not want any un-necessary comments on my new found prized decoration, I waited till Goo went upstairs to watch TV in bed. When I got my goose decoy out of the box, I was so excited I put him …. I assumed it’s a him … outside in the landscape with a spotlight under the cover of darkness.  I figured I would find a bow to put around his neck and some lighted branch accessories tomorrow.

The next day at work I got a text message from GOO ….. “Where did that goose come from?”. I responded that it was the item in the FedEX delivery. To which he responded ……. “Well, I thought it was REAL and I tried to chase it out of the yard! When it wouldn't move I got closer to it and saw it was fake! “   My co-workers heard shrieks of laughter coming from my office and I filled them in. However, after that no work was accomplished that day. 

The moral of this GOO Christmas tale is:  

GEESE NEED TO DO THEIR A-LAYING SOMEWHERE ELSE!

Reminiscences of an Old Crabby Broad

Finally the Holiday Season is define!  For the past month I have been driving by Halloween Ghosts blowing in the wind while hanging off the lower tree limbs next to a waving plastic Santa Claus blow-up sharing the same yard space.

I have "younger" neighbors that faithfully on November 1st  throw out the stuffed scarecrow from Michael's with their cornstalks and pumpkins and hang the artificial pine wreath and the red and green twinkle lights. Can't say I blame their "what holiday season is it?" confusion solely on them. Retail stores were doing the same thing!

I remember a time when you never ever ever never saw so much as a Christmas bulb till the day after Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving season ..... a fall Harvest season holiday ..... has somehow now become .... or shall I say .....  blended with Christmas.  Unfortunately Christmas ... and the shopping of .... is slowly being forced on us earlier and earlier each year. Stores that formally closed on Thanksgiving, giving their employees a holiday off .... unpaid I'm sure  ..... and not having them worry about "requesting off" to spend the day with family. It was sickening to see alll the stores that opened virtually during dinner .... THE WHOLE FOCUS ......  of the holiday and enticed those weak individuals to shop. Was that couple $$$ they "saved" actually worth giving up their holiday allll to satisfy the greed of some CEO retailer looking for their next Million dollar bonus in January ?

I stayed home. Oh, I'll shop for Christmas ..... I have a WHOLE MONTH!!! .... and I'll spend the same amount of money and on the same amount of people I planned on from the beginning. For now, me and my "older" neighbors will be decorating our houses now that it is after Thanksgiving ....... like we remember.

NOTHING SAYS HALLOWEEN COSTUME LIKE A SESAME STREET CHARACTER

GOOOOOD NEWS THIS HALLOWEEN LADIES!!! 

You are NOT just limited to buying the sexy witch, the almost bare breasted nurse or a tightly corseted pirate costume! It is the year we have all been waiting for. Finally, costume makers are expanding their horizons in women's Halloween costume choices! 

This year you can be a seductive BERT, a belly baring ERNIE or a naughty sleek and slim BIG BIRD in spandex!

What ....  oh what should I chose?

HARVEST MOON

I've been very busy lately with my "HARVEST MOON" dinner tomorrow night.  Oh yes, Saturday, September 29th is a Harvest Moon .... and what is a HARVEST MOON DINNER? Something I started with my family .... actually it is supposed to be any FULL MOON that falls on a weekend ..... an excuse to get together with family and friends. I'll fess up .... I actually saw the idea in Better Homes & Gardens years ago. Everyone looked so festive ...... in the posed pictures .......  to be out in the crisp autumn evening air ...... probably freezing their asses off ......... 

As I have said before, Fall is my favorite season! And it is quite possible I decorate more for Fall than Christmas  ..... wellllll there is that (2) tree thing going on in my home ..... regardless my Fall Harvest decor will be up for 2+ months.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

A Hallmark moment  ......... Maybe invented my them? .....

No its not actually ..... I know its what I thought growing up!  The celebration of "mother" has been going on since the ancient Greeks and is celebrated around the world!

 Hope you get to celebrate happy! 

REMEMBERING EASTER

I was reminiscing this past week about Easter season … not really the religious aspects but activities that surrounded it. Growing up Roman Catholic in a neighborhood where 95% of my neighbors were also of that faith, our school at one time was the largest Catholic school in the Diocese. The grounds of our parish were almost a campus compared to the surrounding parishes. The essence of the local Catholic church's Easter preparation effect on home and community included:

The Parish bazaar – I never realized it till was I was older but technically this was a version of “Fat Tuesday” only over a loooong weekend before Lent. Everyone from the parish attended. They gave away great prizes on the chance wheels too! Huge stuffed animals, 10 lb hams and sugar, bikes, small local merchant gift baskets, etc …. The food? It wasn’t this prepackaged stuff you get at the local carnivals now! Parish woman were tripping over one another cookin’ up a fresh storm in the small “social hall” kitchen. And the gambling …… casinos had nothing on this crowd …. No chance getting a seat at the poker tables let me tell you!

Lenten Eating – Lent was a big limiting the meat intake season. So, my Mom made pierogies. I mean HUNDREDS of them. It took her all day. She made two kinds: potato and dry cottage cheese ….. my favorite! I don’t know how she did it. I tried to make one batch …. 75 pierogies ….. for Christmas. First, try to find dry cottage cheese ….. it’s a dying pierogie art I say. Speaking of a dying art …. my mom also made pierogies the old fashion way with two dough circles NOT that circle fold over like everyone else does now. Her pierogies were how her direct from Poland Grandmother made them resembling mini flying saucers. This is how I make them and I was wore out …… EVEN WITH SOME DAUGHTER HELP!

Lenten Torture – Giving something up you enjoyed and attending Wednesday afternoon marathon STATIONS …… if your Catholic, you know what I mean … ENOUGH SAID!

Lenten Fashion-ista Shopping – When else would you look for a pink, lilac or yellow dress topped off with flowery sun hat and a shiny pair of white patent leathers?

Good Friday – School was closed. All offices were closed. Retail stores were open BUT they closed Noon to 3PM. Noon to 3PM no one in the neighborhood left their homes! If you did you better be going to the hospital emergency room or already in the 3 HOUR STATIONS at Church!

My parish has been gone for years. The school, even after merging with surrounding Catholic schools, closed about 5 years ago. The religious rationale for Easter I have “issues” with and will leave the discussion for those who have a better argument than I. All I can recreate …. sometimes …. is the pierogies!

NOW it is time to take down the Christmas decorations!

One of my holiday pet peeves … there are many! I’m only tackling this one … are people who rip down their Christmas holiday decorations the DAY AFTER Christmas. What is wrong with these people?

I have TWO things to preach here: FIRST, do these dim-wits even realize the “holiday” is NOT over? Apparently, not. Christmas has little to do with Christian religion as they may think but, more with ancient mysticism of incorporating a spiritual connection to nature and (wo)man. Hmmmmm…. sound familiar? ….. That’s right …. Christmas season actually follows the Pagan tradition of celebrating the winter solstice …. Man’s respect to the forces of nature. How did they become connected? FACT: ….. no one knows when Christ was actually born. There are however writings/ claims that it was a winter month. So, in the early organization of the Roman Catholic Church they adopted many of the established pagan celebrations to “fit” the established traditions of those they were trying convert.

The term “Yuletide” is actually a winter solstice festival that could last up to 2 months in some earlier Germanic Pagan cultures. Perhaps it was from this those early Christian leaders … who apparently had problems coming up with their own holidays …. invoked the celebration of the "Twelve days of Christmas", ...... FIIIIIIIVE GOLDEN RIIIINGS ..... which end on the “12th Night” ….. a celebration immortalized in Shakespeare ….. which ends coincidentally on the Christian feast day of the Epiphany. "12th Night" was actually the high celebratory night of the season in English tradition and became instilled into the early Colonial American culture. Somehow it has been lost through the stirring of the melting pot and we are down to only getting December 25th off from work.

So, if you missed it, yesterday was 12th Night/Epiphany. The holiday is now officially over. If you’re a Germanic Pagan however you have a few more weeks …… doesn’t explain the icicle lights in May though!

My SECOND point, it took me 3 weeks to put it all up all these decorations I have all over my house. For crikees sake, I would like to look at and enjoy my handiwork for a while!

HAPPY 4TH TO ALL MY FELLOW SUBJECTS ......

Happy Independence Day! Okay, so we found out this week Thomas Jefferson made a little itsy bitsy mistake on one of the famous icons of freedom ..… it happens! But before ya get your patriotic drum a strummin’ tomorrow, let’s talk what REALLY took place in the summer of 1776 ….. WARNING: Reading further you about to have another American myth blow out of the water! I'm a stickler (i.e, nit-picker, annoying, control freak) for the facts, that’s why I’m here …… The Second Continental Congress actually voted to declare independence on July 2nd, 1776 … that’s right you should have had that day off, eaten that burnt hot dog and watched fireworks yesterday …….

Even John Adams wrote to his wife on July 3, 1776:

“The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.” See Wikipedia.

On July 4th, the final wording of the Declaration of Independence document was approved and sent off to the printer. A carefully hand written version was produced and the famous signing with John Hancock exclaiming: “There, I guess King George will be able to read that!” …. Ahh another myth for another day …….. most likely took place on August 2, 1776.

Ironically, the July 4th signing myth became so encroached in American folklore that John Adams and Thomas Jefferson in their later years forgot what day they signed it and believe the 4th. Maybe promoting the myth even more? They both died the same day: July 4th, 1826 .... the myth's 50th anniversary.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!!

I'm taking my Daddy and my God of Organization .....aka, husband ...... out to an early dinner. Hope your "daddy" has a nice day with you too!

MOTHER'S DAY WISHES

Happy Mom’s day! I just came home from having Brunch with my Mom. Pretty much the rest of day I plan on doing nothing …. Just the way I like it!

I hope you all have "nothing" days too.

I HAD A FARM IN AFRICA ......

I am sure you did not forget that Valentine’s Day is Sunday? Any plans?

Husband and I will probably exchange cards and go out to dinner. I tell him every year DO NOT BUY ME CANDY! Don’t you know I get the biggest heart shaped box the drug store has to offer every year. Hey, everyday is Valentine’s Day around here my husband tells me. Uuuuhhh yea … read the post below and you will see who matters most in this home!

If I want to sense that romancey feeling I can always live vicariously through a movie any time of year. There is the new “Valentine’s Day” movie but, it looks like too much over stimulation from too many love stories. My old favorites? Glad you asked. Here’s a few off the top of my head:

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947) – I cried so much at the end of this one (it may have been postpartum, too??). To think they waited so long till she died to be together. Where’s my tissues?

The Way We Were (1973) – THE classic. Didn’t you just want them to run away to be together again after the scene where she sweeps his hair. Maybe the tissues are in the bathroom.

Out of Africa (1985) – Redford … a common thread. She falls in love with him and Africa and loses both. Trying the linen closet.

Pride and Prejudice (2005) – Is it the romanticism of the time period or that there is true love in store for both older Bennet sisters. The rain scene where he first unexpectedly proposes and the sunrise scene is how we all want it to happen. Oh it is on tonight at 10 pm. Now I HAVE to go to store for tissues.