Reminiscences of an Old Crabby Broad

Finally the Holiday Season is define!  For the past month I have been driving by Halloween Ghosts blowing in the wind while hanging off the lower tree limbs next to a waving plastic Santa Claus blow-up sharing the same yard space.

I have "younger" neighbors that faithfully on November 1st  throw out the stuffed scarecrow from Michael's with their cornstalks and pumpkins and hang the artificial pine wreath and the red and green twinkle lights. Can't say I blame their "what holiday season is it?" confusion solely on them. Retail stores were doing the same thing!

I remember a time when you never ever ever never saw so much as a Christmas bulb till the day after Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving season ..... a fall Harvest season holiday ..... has somehow now become .... or shall I say .....  blended with Christmas.  Unfortunately Christmas ... and the shopping of .... is slowly being forced on us earlier and earlier each year. Stores that formally closed on Thanksgiving, giving their employees a holiday off .... unpaid I'm sure  ..... and not having them worry about "requesting off" to spend the day with family. It was sickening to see alll the stores that opened virtually during dinner .... THE WHOLE FOCUS ......  of the holiday and enticed those weak individuals to shop. Was that couple $$$ they "saved" actually worth giving up their holiday allll to satisfy the greed of some CEO retailer looking for their next Million dollar bonus in January ?

I stayed home. Oh, I'll shop for Christmas ..... I have a WHOLE MONTH!!! .... and I'll spend the same amount of money and on the same amount of people I planned on from the beginning. For now, me and my "older" neighbors will be decorating our houses now that it is after Thanksgiving ....... like we remember.

HARVEST MOON

I've been very busy lately with my "HARVEST MOON" dinner tomorrow night.  Oh yes, Saturday, September 29th is a Harvest Moon .... and what is a HARVEST MOON DINNER? Something I started with my family .... actually it is supposed to be any FULL MOON that falls on a weekend ..... an excuse to get together with family and friends. I'll fess up .... I actually saw the idea in Better Homes & Gardens years ago. Everyone looked so festive ...... in the posed pictures .......  to be out in the crisp autumn evening air ...... probably freezing their asses off ......... 

As I have said before, Fall is my favorite season! And it is quite possible I decorate more for Fall than Christmas  ..... wellllll there is that (2) tree thing going on in my home ..... regardless my Fall Harvest decor will be up for 2+ months.

WHEN U DIE .... deep thoughts

Okay I admit I had a few drinks tonight and being a holiday I had my father over who loves nothing more than reminiscing about his younger days .... he got me thinking ....... aside from the remember when, what and who stories do you ever think about who will remember YOU when you are gone?  How many lives can I touch before I'm gone, enough that they would want to "come visit me"? DEEEP STUFF MAN!!!

My maternal and paternal grandmother have me and my children.  My grandfather .... on mom's side ... had her and her brother .... both now gone and I never met my Mom's dad. I know where he is buried 'cause Mom  took me there in my preteen years. Do my cousins know where this place is? They were closer to him but I went there after my mom died and could tell, no one has been there in years. His flat heastone was nearly grown over by the lawn. My dad ..... who was with me ..... and I ripped it all back to reveal his stone again with our bare hands ..... kinda creepy ehh?

WHO will come visit ME?

I WANNA GO THERE ......

There is Havasu Falls in Arizona .... that could be me in that turquoise water! Arizona I can do that!!! Let me see... let me see ..... where is the closest airport to this place. Oh .... in the Grand Canyon area ... hmmm okay well I guess that would be Vegas or Phoenix ..... rent a car and drive to SUPAI??? where is that exactly ... scratch head ..... on the west side of Grand Canyon. What's over there? I thought the touristy stuff was north and south rims? .... Oh wait now, Wikipedia says its the capital of the Havasupai Indian Tribe Reservation .... hey sounds like a world of new cultural experiences to me ..... Oh, look there is a lodge on the reservation .... now all I have to do to get there is drive to the end of the trail head and  ..... HIKE 8 MILES FROM THE NEAREST ROAD .... what? ... oh wait there are other options. OR .... ride a pack mule or rent a helicopper .... OH ....... is that all? Oh no? Of course, the falls are another 2 mile hike from lodge .... hhhhaaaahhhhhhhh ..... my husband will leave me after this trip ...... hmmmmm ! That could me in that turquoise water!

Ahhhhhhh ... our newest addition!!!!!

Please welcome with us our newest addition to the family !!

The backyard family that is ...... that's right we are the proud new owners of our second garden gnome.

 He looks almost exactly like his brother across the patio! Lets remember:

You know how they get jealous with a new one in the yard!

REMEMBERING EASTER

I was reminiscing this past week about Easter season … not really the religious aspects but activities that surrounded it. Growing up Roman Catholic in a neighborhood where 95% of my neighbors were also of that faith, our school at one time was the largest Catholic school in the Diocese. The grounds of our parish were almost a campus compared to the surrounding parishes. The essence of the local Catholic church's Easter preparation effect on home and community included:

The Parish bazaar – I never realized it till was I was older but technically this was a version of “Fat Tuesday” only over a loooong weekend before Lent. Everyone from the parish attended. They gave away great prizes on the chance wheels too! Huge stuffed animals, 10 lb hams and sugar, bikes, small local merchant gift baskets, etc …. The food? It wasn’t this prepackaged stuff you get at the local carnivals now! Parish woman were tripping over one another cookin’ up a fresh storm in the small “social hall” kitchen. And the gambling …… casinos had nothing on this crowd …. No chance getting a seat at the poker tables let me tell you!

Lenten Eating – Lent was a big limiting the meat intake season. So, my Mom made pierogies. I mean HUNDREDS of them. It took her all day. She made two kinds: potato and dry cottage cheese ….. my favorite! I don’t know how she did it. I tried to make one batch …. 75 pierogies ….. for Christmas. First, try to find dry cottage cheese ….. it’s a dying pierogie art I say. Speaking of a dying art …. my mom also made pierogies the old fashion way with two dough circles NOT that circle fold over like everyone else does now. Her pierogies were how her direct from Poland Grandmother made them resembling mini flying saucers. This is how I make them and I was wore out …… EVEN WITH SOME DAUGHTER HELP!

Lenten Torture – Giving something up you enjoyed and attending Wednesday afternoon marathon STATIONS …… if your Catholic, you know what I mean … ENOUGH SAID!

Lenten Fashion-ista Shopping – When else would you look for a pink, lilac or yellow dress topped off with flowery sun hat and a shiny pair of white patent leathers?

Good Friday – School was closed. All offices were closed. Retail stores were open BUT they closed Noon to 3PM. Noon to 3PM no one in the neighborhood left their homes! If you did you better be going to the hospital emergency room or already in the 3 HOUR STATIONS at Church!

My parish has been gone for years. The school, even after merging with surrounding Catholic schools, closed about 5 years ago. The religious rationale for Easter I have “issues” with and will leave the discussion for those who have a better argument than I. All I can recreate …. sometimes …. is the pierogies!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAYTON

LOOOK AT HIMMM! Our adorable puppy is NINE years old today.

GOO drove 10 miles to the closest Baskin & Robbins to buy him a birthday cake for later. YES we are truly crazy dog people !!

NOW it is time to take down the Christmas decorations!

One of my holiday pet peeves … there are many! I’m only tackling this one … are people who rip down their Christmas holiday decorations the DAY AFTER Christmas. What is wrong with these people?

I have TWO things to preach here: FIRST, do these dim-wits even realize the “holiday” is NOT over? Apparently, not. Christmas has little to do with Christian religion as they may think but, more with ancient mysticism of incorporating a spiritual connection to nature and (wo)man. Hmmmmm…. sound familiar? ….. That’s right …. Christmas season actually follows the Pagan tradition of celebrating the winter solstice …. Man’s respect to the forces of nature. How did they become connected? FACT: ….. no one knows when Christ was actually born. There are however writings/ claims that it was a winter month. So, in the early organization of the Roman Catholic Church they adopted many of the established pagan celebrations to “fit” the established traditions of those they were trying convert.

The term “Yuletide” is actually a winter solstice festival that could last up to 2 months in some earlier Germanic Pagan cultures. Perhaps it was from this those early Christian leaders … who apparently had problems coming up with their own holidays …. invoked the celebration of the "Twelve days of Christmas", ...... FIIIIIIIVE GOLDEN RIIIINGS ..... which end on the “12th Night” ….. a celebration immortalized in Shakespeare ….. which ends coincidentally on the Christian feast day of the Epiphany. "12th Night" was actually the high celebratory night of the season in English tradition and became instilled into the early Colonial American culture. Somehow it has been lost through the stirring of the melting pot and we are down to only getting December 25th off from work.

So, if you missed it, yesterday was 12th Night/Epiphany. The holiday is now officially over. If you’re a Germanic Pagan however you have a few more weeks …… doesn’t explain the icicle lights in May though!

My SECOND point, it took me 3 weeks to put it all up all these decorations I have all over my house. For crikees sake, I would like to look at and enjoy my handiwork for a while!

2012 - A YEAR FOR REVIVAL

Ahhhhh ...... I plan to blog again ...... I had a semi-depressing year. My mom died but do not take mention of that for seeking sympathy. People die, parents die, friends die .... I pride myself on being the realist and being the strong reliable one.

I think what I have discovered over the last year is that my family (a.k.a., brothers, sister, father) are bad at the realities of life ... or maybe they are better at it than me ... hmmmmmm... CONFUSED?!?!?!? SO am I! My father only wants to talk about how much he misses my Mom. I'm the only one he has to talk about that though. The rest of my brothers and sister are no where to be found. They barely talk to Dad and rely on me (because I live the closest .... one of sibs said this to me) to see to his physiological needs. More later I'm sure .............
My career has been going pretty well .... almost afraid to say that since my last jobs ended in layoffs .... such is the way of construction.

My New Year's resolutions:

Lose weight ... duh ... of course !
Exercise more ... see sarcastic comment above
Be the better Person .... if you only knew the opposite my mom taught me ...... she was a "Sashide" girl after all!
Give it to my sis and bros in such a manipulative way they do not know they were insulted until after I hung up ... if I can get them on the phone however .... sigh!

STUPIO "IRRITATING CRAP MY HUSBANO OoES!" .... a working title

Can you tell? My 4th letter of the alphabet key is broken. Guess by who?

Now I am going to have to try & type wor .... ahh .... errr ...... sentences without that letter. This will be interesting ....... Two weeks ago the GO or LOR ...okay the MASTER of Organization spills water into the thing with the keys, knows it will not work & was trying to fool everyone by not warning them .... trying to make us think we broke it .... However, the towel for your phalanges from my bathroom, beneath the key thingy is what gave me the tip off! So, he fesses up & we go key thingy shopping the next afternoon.

First, he tries to get me to pay for it .... its a little game he likes to play at the cash register to see who gets out the money first. He unfortunately won this time ....... I chose the item & walkie' out the entrance of the store to the car not wanting to play. Tonight he shows me the "4th letter of the alphabet" key & says "FIX". I say , "Why, I'm taking it back. We just bought it." Master of Organization tells me we can't ... he threw away the receipt!!!!!!! WTF?????? Master has receipts from the house painting from like 8 years ago. He has the receipt from the washer & thingy that blows air on your clothes "set" we bought 6 years ago, the receipt from when we bought the computer 3 years ago, etc .... you get the picture ... but he throws away a receipt from something he buys 2 weeks ago?!?!?!?

I know how to get even! I'll tell him about the $250.00 purse I bought tonight. Afterall, I'm not saving money for computer accessories.

"Irritating Crap My Husband DOES!" ...the working title..

If you have not heard of it, there is a Twitter account called: “Sh*t My Dad Says”. The owner of the account, Justin Halpern, only tweets …. well …uh … shit his dad says! A simple yet novel idea ….. soooo novel Justin, now has a book and a TV series pilot in the making.

Not that I’m trying for a book and a TV pilot I’m just …. aaahh ... ummm… borrowing the concept .... yea that's it ...that's what I'll tell his lawyers when they call .... I’ve been thinking of adding an occasional commentary based on the Halpern twitter, to my own blog. Originally, I was going to go with “Trash My Daughter Talks” but I’ve shifted my focus on “Irritating Crap My Husband DOES!” …….the working title …… I may use the “Daughter” stuff at a later date.

Since I have gone back to work, my husband has been trying to “help” out …. even though he did not when I was working before ….. with the house work. SIGH! I don’t wanna be a beeotch about it but he is rousing me into a diatribe fest. HE actually is “Mr. Neat Nik”, "Mr. Organization", "Mr. Everything Put Back In Place" ….. way more so than me. BUT then he has the added talents of "Mr. Delegate", "Mr. I’m in Charge Now", "Mr. List", "Mr. Reminder" …. Mr. PAIN!

First case in point: I can live in a scattered mess as long as the surfaces (carpets, hardwood floors, furniture, etc) underneath them are clean/sanitized/washed/dust mite/dog fur FREE! My “scattered” system works for me …… I KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS! For some reason the “God of Organization” (as hubby shall be known as) can’t believe that. He feels that it is muuuuuuch better to take everything and put it in 1 BIG PILE. Better yet, take that pile and put it somewhere else … like a drawer or in a place I would never EVER EVER EVER look! Let me tell you … ONE big pile does NOT work in the “scatter system”! He is really F’ing up my things to do/ filing system!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAYTON and Eva too!

My husband and I agree on one thing, if we would ever divorce the biggest battle would be custody over .... the dog!

Our precious little fur ball is 7 years old today. My how time has flown by. One day you are cute little chubby puppy poo poo machine full of energy who eats all the dog food you can give him, next you are a spoil eats people food ONLY sleep all day shed monster who I have to throw outside to do the business. Ahhhhh .... the teenage years.

There will be singing (Claytie howls), blowing out candles (okay we blow them out), cake and ice cream (He gets his share .... what did you think the dog sang for?). Yes .... we are are crazy bunch.

Since I honored ZSA ZSA and remembered Grandma and her sisters this week, I will continue that theme. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVA GABOR! In comparison to the "South Side" Gabor sisters, Eva would be the same age as my Grandma's sister Janet. Whose real name was Antonina when they arrived from Poland. Later her name was changed to Antonette but they called her Janet .......... for short!

WHERE THE DEVIL ........ ?

I enjoy paranormal stories. Not the contrived “Tales from the Crypt” type nor the Hollywood movie treatment of the real life story. I want the real story from the real person and then I like to go to the real place and see for myself … NOT alone though.

A windfall for me (and family) is the huge crop of reality shows tackling the paranormal on TV for the last 10 years. We began our obsession every Sunday night watching MTV’s "FEAR" in 2000. For us, nothing has come close since. So, these newer programs will have to do ... sigh. The latest TV investigators are armed to the teeth with more techno gadgets than the Bat Cave. Yet w/ all these high-end devices I have still not seen anything caught that will convince me 100% of existence ..... I know I want to be a believer.... One of my choice team of investigators is the Paranormal Research Society on A&E’s “Paranormal State”. (http://www.aetv.com/paranormal-state/) Last night PRS had an episode near to my family’s heart: the legend of the “Jersey Devil” …. and you just thought it was the name of a hockey team!

Background … My parents and Grandmother lived in central and coastal New Jersey for over 20 years. We heard the "Devil" tale some time ago and have been keeping an eye out each visit ever since. Our family often took day trips thru the Pine Barrens (home to the Devil) to Renault Winery, Batsto Village, Tuckerton and Smithville. If you have ever been in the Barrens, then you know there is no better place to hide if you are a mythical legend. The picturesque area is stunning in an eerie sort of way. Lots of dense forest, black rivers, bays stretching back inland from the Atlantic Ocean, bogs, marshes, deserted buildings, sparse population, and desolate silence. Yep… this is where I would go not to be seen.

In the early 1990’s my parents rented a house in Leeds Point. Leed’s Point is known as the mortal birthplace of the "Devil" but my parents preferred to label the area “TICK & GREENHEAD HEAVEN”. One morning they found the roof/hood of their car covered in hoof prints. The region IS heavily populated with deer and deer do bazaar things …. but dancing all over a car? Never heard of this one ….. Pleeeease correct me if I wrong.

Other than having a creepy feeling of being watched at Batsto, HAVE I EVER SEEN ANYTHING? Nope. Never. Not that I did not want to. PRS thinks they may have though and …. in Leeds Point. Now to me, it looked like a deer on the “high density resolution digital night-vision thermal cam” … I’d bet Batman doesn’t have one of those ….. However, the PRS team (who has one and is not afraid to use it) claims the creature they captured on screen has wings. Maybe I need to go on their web site and look closer. Could this be the proof devil hunters have been looking for?

Speaking of the official hunters here is their web site: http://www.njdevilhunters.com/
There is a great deal of info on this site about the “Devil” legend and this group’s hunt for him .... or her. If you visit the page go to the ”Sightings” link for my favorite spine-chilling real life story: February 18, 2004.

If you would like to conduct your own “Devil” hunt in the New Jersey Pine Barrens ……. and do not want to admit it …… then employ our ruse and day trip to the places mentioned:
http://www.renaultwinery.com/ Never have had a bad vintage.
http://www.batstovillage.org/ Heart of the Pine Barrens. Call ahead to see if the mansion is open for tours.
http://www.tuckerton.com/ Not exactly in the Pine Barrens but the drive from Batsto takes you on the northern end of the Pines. Love lunch at Panini Bay Restaurant over looking Little Egg Harbor.
http://www.smithvillenj.com/ Near Leeds Point. Shopping and dinner at the Inn!

Even if you do not see a mystical creature you will not be sorry you visited the Pine Barrens…… oh …. bring tick spray!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZSA ZSA!

Zsa Zsa Gabor is 93 today! Zsa Zsa …. Isn’t she the cop sla …. Yes … Yes ... that was Zsa Zsa! It is probably what she is most famous for…. THAT and 9 husbands! Zsa Zsa and her sisters Eva and Magda …. That’s right Eva was the “Lisa” on “Green Acres” and sold the wigs and Magda ? … Well, I don’t know what Magda did but I remember her two more famous siblings talked about her all the time ….. Start again … As a kid I viewed the Gabor sisters as iconic symbols of what 60’s womanly elegance and sophistication should be. Zsa Zsa always gorgeous making her rounds on TV talk shows and cameos throughout my childhood. I was never sure why she was famous till I was older and saw her in a movie. ZSA ZSA made movies???? I’ll list some fast facts about that later ….

What is it that connects my childhood to Zsa Zsa? Well not only is Zsa Zsa a stylish image from my youth but, I remember my mother telling me what my Grandfather labeled my Grandma and her 5 sisters. You see ... every family gathering resulted in a performance from the “South Side” Gabor sisters. I understand funerals is where they did their finest work! It was Oscar performances all around that led to who could wail the loudest and achieve the greatest of all acting achievements ….. the believable fainting spell! Yes, it was a race to see which one of them beat the other one on the quickness of executing the fall to the floor into a state of grieving unconsciousness. Now you see where I get MY drama from .... an inheritance!

Grandma and her sisters (like the Gabors) were always pretty, petite, little bee-hived natural? blondes, who lied about their age SO much they forgot how old they were in their later years. They also all had another flaw … they needed MEDS! Unfortunately, meds were not available then so the outrageous and over the top behavior continued till their passings. Zsa Zsa is still going strong though and is the same age as my dear departed Grandma would be this year. Grandma only married 3 times but, I’d bet Zsa Zsa and Grandma are neck and neck in the boyfriend #'s category. Magda was the same age as my Great-Aunt Helen (the oldest sister also) who was actually the last to go(2005) of the "South Side" Gabors. Sniff, Sniff … the good old days!

Fast Fun Facts about Zsa Zsa (you already know about the 9 husbands):

· Her real name is Sari.
· Her mother (Jolie) was an heiress to a jewelry fortune. SO, Zsa Zsa was never hurting!
· She claimed to be the winner of the 1936 Miss Hungry beauty pageant. Relatives later stated she was disqualified because of being underage and yet another claims she was just the runner up.
· Being married to her 2nd husband Conrad Hilton (1942-1947) would make her Paris Hilton’s EX Step-Great-Grandmother.
· She started her movie career (1952) at the age of 35!
· The director (Mervyn LeRoy) of her first film (Lovely to Look At) offered her the role after he saw her dancing at party.
· The 1952 version of “Moulin Rouge” was her best-known starring role. She was cast more often as a supporting actor and in B-movies.
· Claims to have been forced on a date with Frank Sinatra.
· Her best friends in the 50’s/60’s were Joan Collins and Kim Novak.
· Her mother lived to be 100.
· Her sister Magda married as her 5th husband, Zsa Zsa’s 3rd husband, actor George Sanders. YUCK!
· One of her marriages was to the inventor(Jack Ryan) of the Barbie Doll. Hmmmm
· Out of the 20 marriages between them, Zsa Zsa was the only Gabor sister to have a child. (Francesca Hilton)
· She lost an estimated 10 million in the Bernie Madoff ponzi scan.
· Her present husband (Prinz von Anhalt) claims the title: Prince Frederic von Anhalt of Munich, the Duke of Saxony, which would make Zsa Zsa a princess, right! Ahhhh …. No. Actually, Prinz paid the bankrupt German Princess Marie-Auguste of Anhalt to adopt him in 1980. He has no legitamite claims to the German royal line.

AND yes … I do think my Grandma would have slapped a cop if she had the chance …… especially in her later years!