"Irritating Crap My Husband DOES!" ...the working title..

If you have not heard of it, there is a Twitter account called: “Sh*t My Dad Says”. The owner of the account, Justin Halpern, only tweets …. well …uh … shit his dad says! A simple yet novel idea ….. soooo novel Justin, now has a book and a TV series pilot in the making.

Not that I’m trying for a book and a TV pilot I’m just …. aaahh ... ummm… borrowing the concept .... yea that's it ...that's what I'll tell his lawyers when they call .... I’ve been thinking of adding an occasional commentary based on the Halpern twitter, to my own blog. Originally, I was going to go with “Trash My Daughter Talks” but I’ve shifted my focus on “Irritating Crap My Husband DOES!” …….the working title …… I may use the “Daughter” stuff at a later date.

Since I have gone back to work, my husband has been trying to “help” out …. even though he did not when I was working before ….. with the house work. SIGH! I don’t wanna be a beeotch about it but he is rousing me into a diatribe fest. HE actually is “Mr. Neat Nik”, "Mr. Organization", "Mr. Everything Put Back In Place" ….. way more so than me. BUT then he has the added talents of "Mr. Delegate", "Mr. I’m in Charge Now", "Mr. List", "Mr. Reminder" …. Mr. PAIN!

First case in point: I can live in a scattered mess as long as the surfaces (carpets, hardwood floors, furniture, etc) underneath them are clean/sanitized/washed/dust mite/dog fur FREE! My “scattered” system works for me …… I KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS! For some reason the “God of Organization” (as hubby shall be known as) can’t believe that. He feels that it is muuuuuuch better to take everything and put it in 1 BIG PILE. Better yet, take that pile and put it somewhere else … like a drawer or in a place I would never EVER EVER EVER look! Let me tell you … ONE big pile does NOT work in the “scatter system”! He is really F’ing up my things to do/ filing system!

IS WINNING THE LOTTERY A GOOD THING?

Photo Credit: AP

Uuuuuuu ..... HELL YA!!! … but do you believe in the "lottery winner's curse?"

In 2002, Jack Whittaker from W.Va won a $315 million Power Ball. 2 years later he lost most of his friends and family, had over 400 lawsuits filed against his company, became an alcoholic and the granddaughter he cherished and lavished the winnings on was found rolled up in plastic bed sheet dead dumped behind a junked van. Read his full story here.

Jack, by far is not the only one. Many winners find themselves back to where they were ... or worse ... before the win. All over the Internet are stories of suicides, murders, hired hitmen, strangers demanding handouts ... for luxuries yet, not even pretending it was for necessities or a hardship .... charities, con men/ladies, spending sprees ... before the next payout check arrived, it was spent ... lawsuits, backruptcy and faced with the most dreaded creature of them all ... the self-righteous relative .... that see your winnings as their winnings.

Take for example the newest $258 million Power Ball winner this week, Chris Shaw. I like to see people like him win the lottery. Shaw is a 29 year old, living paycheck to paycheck, $7.25 an hour, recently hired convenience store clerk living in rural Missouri. Raised by his grandparents …..orphaned? No one is saying …… missing two front teeth because he could not afford to take care of them, father of 3 kids from two different mothers, and living with another woman who has 2 of her own children.

HO HUM ... this poor schumuck doesn't stand a chance! Undoubtly, the baby Mamas have already hired a lawyer to get their child support payments raised. Nothing wrong with that, every parent should take care of the child they brought into the world. BUT, somehow I picture these women in their new BMW before the year is out ...its all for the kids don't you know! If his parents are still alive ... you know the ones that dumped him on Grandma & Pa ..... they will be coming out of the swamp pretty soon. The women he is living with? Within the next couple of years her story will be that she gave him the money to play the lottery for them "both" or that he "promised" to split the winnings with her. Either way by some means, she will end up with at least half. At least I hope he gets those new teeth out of it all.

THE GROCERY STORE GOT A NEW SHIPPMENT OF KARTES FOR ALL

FINALLY!!!! ... after FIVE …… count them America ….. “5” tortuous weeks of spackled on makeup …. No one else's makeup was so horrendously horrendous, was she doing it herself?…. a wardrobe of Salvation Army bridesmaid dress cast-offs, horsetail wiglets and a black & blue sprain to the profession of ballroom dancing ….Kate Gosselin …. or as you know her better as the “shopping Karte”, “bitch from hell” ... see picture left for dictionary meaning .... or “the frock on the coat hanger” … has been voted off DWTS.

Seriously folks, if she made it through another week, ABC would have had some integrity problems with the show's actual fans and the voting system.

I know I myself first predicted her to be 2nd or 3rd to go but she turned out to be soooooooo dreadful, I couldn’t see how she made it past the second week. The only answer I have is that even her haters club started to vote for her as a form of entertainment and the joke she was becoming in the media everywhere.

Other than the money, I'm not seeing how this help her "career". Being the biggest butt .... and not just on the DWTS .... of late night comedy may have actually hurt her. Her appearance was more scandalous than genuine star power. What credible network … TLC doesn’t count … Remember I did say “credible” ….. will take her seriously. What’s that I hear ….. could be the sound of the nails being hammer in her TV celebrity coffin? Its time Kate you used, abused, and pimped your … and unfortunately your children’s … 15 minutes long ago!

Now go home …. first explain to your kids who you are ….. and have a nice normal life.

SHROUD OF MYSTERY

Photo Credit: AP

Being a student of architecture, I’ve always wanted to go to ITALY! Actually, I formally announced to my husband last month I’m going within the next two years with or without him. Now I have to find someone to go with. I thought maybe my daughters would enjoy the Grand Tour …. at least part of it anyways ...... especially if mom is footing the bill!

Unfortunately, in two years I will most likely miss the opportunity to view a renowned antiquity of the Roman Catholic Church: the Shroud of Turin. The Shroud, to the faithful, is believed to be the burial cloth of Jesus Christ. In my ignorance I had always believed it to be almost on constant display in Turin, Italy ..... if you are planning a trip to Italy too, be forewarned ..... Customarily, the Shroud is made available for viewing every 25 years. In the last 12, however, it has been on display in shorter periods: 1998(before that 1978), 2000 and now.

Though never proclaimed by the Catholic Church as authentic, I recall while in first grade the nuns in my Catholic School declaring it evidence to Jesus’ intensive suffering for us undeserving little innocent children …. nuns were always trying to scare us little kids back then …. They(nuns) were never teaching doubt or even mentioning for that matter the Shroud’s historical suspicion of being a medieval forgery. Recent carbon dating tests put the cloth somewhere around the 13th century. Still there are those that insist the tests were compromised by taking the test samples from/near a 15th century patch/repair. There is also the Vatican researcher’s claims ….. through her study of computer enhancements … finding faint writing on the cloth that can be attributed to the time of Christ's crucifixion.

Even if you ascribe to the substantiation of high technology, scientists cannot clarify or duplicate a method of process for reproducing the image of the wounded bearded man in the cloth. So, even if the shroud is a forgery at the very least it is a piece of religious art imitating the agonizing existence and death of a church’s Savior. I want to see it.

Asserting some good advice to the 2 million expected to make the journey to Turin, the Archbishop of Turin tells visitors to view the shroud “with their hearts rather than their minds”. The Shroud is on display at the Turin Cathedral till May 23. No official date when it will be on display again.

AN EVENING OUT FOR THE HOUSEWIVES

I just came home from a jewelry party. I did not know people still did this! … my sister in-law hosted, I like her, I went …….. 20 years ago you could not get away from these home parties. At least once a month a friend or relative had a Tupperware, CandleLite and/or Partylite candles, Home Interiors, Pampered Chef, Stanley home products, Christmas Around the World, Longaberger baskets, Sarah Coventry, Mary Kay Cosemtics, Northern Lights, Queens Way to Fashion, …. These are just the ones I remember the company name.

There were more home parties that sold original oil paintings, lingerie … AND we tried this stuff on! Now I wonder how many parties were these “clothes” tried on? Eeeeeewwww ….., decorative house crap, more candles, gourmet foods, cookies, and the oddest one ….. and I remember my friends were really in to it at one time …. Fabric paints! We did pictures … framed them too…. and clothing ….. like the paint by number stuff! What the hell were we thinking???? We MUST have been drinking to much back then ……..

Big Ben tolling .... or is that trawling ??

SIGH! …… This city was in a holding pattern till 2 PM today. All were waiting for the announcement of whether formal charges would be filed on Ben Roethlisberger. The announcement came and it is not exactly what fans wanted to hear. Basically, PARENTS! ….. hide your daughters because Mr. Roethlisberger is now free to be prowling at a bar, park, or event venue near you!

Here’s the thing ….. he has two sexual assault accusations brought against him in the span of one year. Now the first one, I truly believe the girl threw herself at him … for the thrill of sleeping with a celebrity/sports hero …. and …. well ….. yea .... she was a stranger but someone was offering and he was taking …… two consenting adults so be it …. But then he soon realized she was a stalker fan and actually expected a lasting relationship. You would have thought he learned a lesson! Aaaahhhhh ...... no. Though charges were not filed, this second accusation on the other hand does not look so innocent. Okay …Okay … I know alcohol was involved but that’s not a "PASS" ole Benny Boy!

The most frustrating thing is Roethlisberger is not the only sports celebrity taking advantage of the overflow of women that are willing to have a one night stand with a sports star …. Hell ….. I’m still trying to figure out the math on how Wilt Chamberlain ever had the time for a professional basketball career and slept with 20,000 women!

My daughters????? … they think Big Ben is UUUUGLY! Still girls if you go somewhere with your friends and you hear he is “in the house” …. GET OUT! ‘Cause Big ole Ben will never be big enough to deal with this mother bear’s ass! He will find a new definition of "sacked" ..... or better yet wish for his "Steel Curtain"!!

I DREAMED A DREAM IN TIME GONE BY ......

I start my new job tomorrow! …. Excitement abounding …. Yes … in these hard economic times I found new employment. YEAH! .... AND it is in my field …. double YEAH! ……

Those who know me are familiar with my 20 + year trek in trying to become an engineer. I quit my office job at 23 and became a server at night to become a full time student by day .… it was actually called a “waitress” back then …. Went to the big local University, met a guy, married, had a baby, dropped out, made waiting tables a full time profession, had another baby, spent all my extra money on ballerina, singing and piano lessons. I tried to take a class here and there, worked other meaningless jobs and finally said in my late 30’s: "If I’m gonna do it, I’d better do it NOW!"

I went back to school at the local Community College (got full paid scholarship), attended a summer program at Harvard Graduate School of Design and finished up the dream at the University of Pittsburgh School of Engineering ...... partial scholarship so, I'm only partially in debt $$$.

When I graduated in December of 2002 I was offered positions at two companies I dreamed of working for. It broke my heart when I had to turn them down because they were not positions available in my city. Let’s face it: If I was 22 and single I would have picked up and never looked back but, the sacrifices of having home & family kept me here. It took me almost a year …. And back to serving tables for a couple months ….. to find a job in a large national construction company that opened a local office. Unfortunately, things were not going well for them ….. the theory of low man on the totem pole tipped and fell on me …. I was laid off a year later. I then went to work for a smaller commercial building firm that went out of business last Fall and …. You guess it that pole fell on me again … I found myself older … which is a scary thing when you are looking for a job with a bunch of younger unemployed semi-new college grads …. and laid off during a economic crisis. Sniff … sniff ……..

I’mmm baaaaack ……… look out local construction ....… all run by men ……. I’ve got some ketchin’ up to do! So, look forward to some boring, technical, ...... YAWN .... historical, dull, ... I'm good at dull ... only interest to other engineer stories …… I’ll try to keep it light too … I am, afterall, still feeling my way in this BLOG!

Oh it is time for a little Susan Boyle now .... I still tear-up a little when I hear her sing this ..... I feel a little connection to her at this moment ...........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&feature=PlayList&p=7D1C6DF492B3A8FF&playnext_from=PL&index=0&playnext=1

♪♪♪♪♫ .... He's really, most sincerely dead!

Meinhardt Raabe, the oldest living “Wizard of Oz” munchkin, died yesterday at 94. You probably remember him for his lines/song …. "As coroner, I must aver …. I thoroughly examined her …… And she's not only merely dead …… She's really, most sincerely dead!" Only 22 munchkins … out of the 124 ….. had speaking parts.

Needless to say when you lived that long you have stories ….. and a memoir: "Memories of a Munchkin: An Illustrated Walk Down the Yellow Brick Road," …. to tell and Mr. Raabe is no exception! He put himself through college, worked as an accountant for Oscar Meyer where he begged for a leave of absence to perform in the “Oz” movie. His notoriety eventually led him out of the offices and into traveling the country in the famed Wiener Mobile giving motivational speeches in schools for three decades. According to his interview given to The Washington Post (May, 2005): “The accomplishment he is most proud of is his service with the Civil Air Patrol. He worked as a ground instructor during the war and says he flew every kind of single-engine airplane made at the time.”

Rest in peace in that Emerald city in the sky!

Birthday Legends

Today is a bonanza of silver screen legend birthdays: Bette Davis (1908-1989), Gregory Peck (1916-2003), Spencer Tracy (1900-1967) and Melvyn Douglas (1901-1981). Getting in my time machine I'm going back remembering the first time I ever saw any of them in a movie.
Bette Davis – “What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?”. I always thought of Bette as an older lady. When I later saw her in her movies of the ‘30’s as a young starlet, it was too late. I could not get the vision of her being anyone else but Baby Jane Hudson out of my head.

Gregory Peck – “To Kill A Mocking Bird”. Always played a hero never a bad guy … well he was too good looking for that!

Spencer Tracy – “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?” Also his last film and at the time most controversial. I think I remember him more for his 20 + year affair with Katherine Hepburn. Although everyone knew he lived with Hepburn those last 20 years, as a strict Catholic he stayed married to his first wife till his death. Kinda heartbreaking.

Melvyn Douglas – “Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House”. Melvyn was more of a character actor. He was the best friend, the second banana, the father/grandfather, the Senator/Judge/doctor/captain/general …. In other words …. you recognized the face in every TV/movie but never quite knew the name.

MY Reality.

My husband and I used to be prime time contestant-type Reality Show junkies. We were regularly hooked on and scheduled our day around “American Idol”, “America’s Next Top Model”, “The Apprentice”, “The Amazing Race”, and the mother of all reality shows ... you better not have called when it was on Thursday... “SURVIVOR”! Lately we just can’t seem to get through an episode before we start channel surfing for something better(?).

Am I bored with my once favorite shows? I have been treating "The Amazing Race" like it is the Travel Channel … I catch the beginning to see the locale and if I’m interested I stick around a while …. I never make it all the way through the hour though. I miss ALL the drama by going directly to reading the Internet blogs and finding out who was eliminated on “Model” and “Apprentice”. "Survivor" just voted out the one person I was starting to root for ….. surprisingly it was Boston Rob. I despised him on his previous 2 appearances but, I wanted him to take out Russell ..... Grrrrrrrr ……… AND on “Idol” not only is there no one worth rooting for, WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH RYAN? ….. he has been especially creepy this season!

Has the reality show worn out it’s welcome? Could it be just me?