HAPPY BIRTHDAY BERNADETTE!

64 AND STILL ROCKIN' THE BOD! I always wanted to rock that hair! Singer, Actress, writer she is one of the few that transcends Stage, Screen and TV. The first time I saw her was in the TV special "Once Upon a Mattress" 1972.

• "IT" girl of the '70's and '80's
• She is of Italian decent
• As an attempt to rid herself of the ethic sounding name of Lazzara .... as it was frown upon in the 60's when she started ....... Peter(s) was her father's first name
• Dated .... or rumored to have "dated" .... Steve Martin, Warren Beatty (no surprise he's on everyone's list) and Clint Eastwood.
• Appeared in Playboy ... see the pic above .... but covered in Bob Mackie lingerie!!!

IRRITAGING CRAP MY HUSBAND DOES ……. Or THE FAST way BACK TO THE FUTURE ...a working title

Its time for a GOO tale. I’ve been saving this because I never write angry … yeah right.

A few weekends back we picked up Daddy and thought we would take him to Breakfast …. Hint hint bros and sis ….. On the way we drove through the County Park. We drive through this park at least once a week. On the main road of the park is a roundabout of sorts. Once GOO pulled out of his intersecting street and halfway thru the circle he spied a snow pile and then …. SUDDENLY .... he time warped in to a revelation he was 10 years old again!

There he was with head full of brown hair and adolescent disobedience. A 10 year old, with more athletic talent beyond his hero’s ….. Willie Stargell. All this combined with his shiny KIA sled with 4 new expensive rubber bumpers he saved up for. With ardent ambition to show-off and impress the pretty little blonde hair girl next door, he swooshed his sled across the Bering curve in the road, swiftly avoiding the obstacles of the other “sledders” and crashed into the enormous snow pile only to

… KER-KLUUUUNK!!!

It was 2012 again !!! Wait … The pretty little blonde is .... uuummmm ….. matured but .... not looking to happy. “What was that?” the boy from the past said. Blondie replied,”I think you hit the CURB!” ….. “you MORON” she said in her head. Daddy in the car remember? …………………….

A few minutes down the road the car passengers hear THIIIISSSSUMP BUUUMP BUUMP BUMP BUUMP BUUMP The kid all grown-up says “What is that?”. Blondie replied,”I think you have a FLAT!” ….. “You absolute MORON … plus a few other things ”, she said in her head. DADDY!!! ……

From a cold and frigid, "closed on Sundays", neighborhood strip mall parking lot the blonde girl SUDDENLY is whisked into the future by 2 hours and finds herself home with the man who just put a slice in the side of her $200 tire. She was feeling all the decades of bitch!

Ho Hum …. still trying to stay on my New Year’s resolution of lose weight, exercise more or at the very least ….. eat better! So far, after 1 -1/2 months we have Weight loss: 2 lbs … better than gaining I guess ... joined a gym … started out at 5 times now I’m down to paltry 1-2 times a week … I’m headed there now.

We came back from shopping a little while ago and I bought my new "try-it" veggie: Swiss Chard. Saw it on the info screen that flashes nutritional information while I was on the treadmill at the gym … Yeah, yeah I’m going ……. I‘ve heard of it before but I don’t know what I’m going to do with it. But, hey the info board says it is really really really nutritional!!! Actually THE healthiest veggie out there …. I'll let you know about that when I figure out what it is going to go with … or in …. or by itself … with spices ... its pretty ... maybe it will look good in vase?

I'm sorry ... but who would watch this? Whitney Houston was one of the greatest singers and undoubtly will join the other "gone before their time" legends but, I do not want to watch her funeral .... on my computer/TV no less! Did not want to see her leave this earth the way she did but please can someone explain wanting to watch her family suffer her loss via video stream ... or for that matter her family agreeing to it?

Warning … NOT JUST FOR THE KIDS ANYMORE

Okay here is something "silly" but, true. So be warned .… I burned my face. A second degree burn with a blister, no less. Don’t worry I’m not terribly marred for life, the mark is about a 1/8” round … pimple size if you will. How did I do such a stupid thing? I was lighting a candle. The matches I used were those boxed stick matches you see at check-out. Never had issue before but we bought the larger, longer, sturdier ones apparently. They were out of them at Christmas time so we bought the shorter ones …. STAY AWAY FROM THEM …. They are very flimsy, both the sulfur tip and the wooden part. My “accidents” with them have been:

• · On lighting the fireplace. The wood stick broke in half 3 different times burn my hand, shirt and started some pine branch needles ... that I was going to use for kindling ... on fire ... before I got them on the fire!
• · Lit a (different) candle. I watched the sulfur tip fly back and land on the rug. You guessed it … burn my rug!!!

The last straw was when I was lighting a candle in the bathroom before company arrived. Sulfur tip flew back at me, landed and stuck on my cheek .... OUCH!!!! ... could not get it off fast enough before the damage was done. Finally threw the dozen pack away. I can’t even blame China … they were made in the USA!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAYTON

LOOOK AT HIMMM! Our adorable puppy is NINE years old today.

GOO drove 10 miles to the closest Baskin & Robbins to buy him a birthday cake for later. YES we are truly crazy dog people !!

MORE CONGENIAL COMMENTS FROM THE WORLD OF FASHION

NO this not about Gisele sticking her other Yeti sized foot in her mouth ..... but from the world that revolves around Karl Lagerfeld who says Adele is "a little too fat". Weellll, Karl should know all about getting rid of a little fat. Nine years ago he lost 92 lbs ......... that would be Karl in 2002 on the left and the 2012 svelte Karl on the right ........ Hmmmmmmm ..... on second thought Adele if your alternative is the look on the right maybe you need to stay just the way you are ....

DEAR GOD, BLESS THE UNBLESSED ... WILL YA!!

Its SUPERBOWL day .... yawn! ..... and the biggest news story I've heard all week is that Gisele Bundchen stuck her size 11's in her mouth again! Oh yes! ... please please please ... pray for Tom Brady to get another $100K Superbowl ring. Seriously!?!?!?!

Okay, so the world let Gisele know now that GOD has better things to do than dole out additional unnecessary blessings to the more than they deserve already blessed. Which come to think of it ... I'm gonna get a little "catty" here ..... the Bundchen supermodel career is a life learning testament to all those so-called 6 foot "ugly ducklings" out there suffering in high school land. Did you ever take a good look at Gisele. This is no "jaw dropping beauty" ... as I often see her touted ... she is pretty plain Jane, maybe even ... dare I say it ... kinda homely! Do you really think a high school Tom Brady ... undoubtly the school's Mr. popular .... would have even taken a second look at her then. HELL NO!!!! ..... I guarantee he was dating the prettiest petite blonde cheerleader with the biggest boobs and roundest camel butt.

So with that I say to Gisele .... GOD has already blessed you with an over rated fruitful career, an NFL superstar to snuggle up to at night, enough money to bail out Greece and has enabled you to cast some spell over shorter men who look up and see an average girl as some sort of goddess ..... must be those Victoria Secret wings she prances around in. Indeed, Gisele is proof there is hope for the rest of us .... although being 6 foot and 120 lbs may help too.

Photo credit: Joe Kohen/Getty

IRRITATING CRAP MY HUSBAND (the GOO man) DOES Or the lengths GOO will go to win a game …a working title ….

Last night turned into an unplanned “Family Game Night”. Youngest stayed in because her car had a flat tire. Ironically, the second one within our family inside a week ….. our mechanic guy now loves us ….. ALSO FODDER FOR A FUTURE GOO TALE!!! SO, there we are in front of the fire, figuring out what game we should all play. Youngest goes to the game closet and picks out “SCRABBLE”. Her and I are on board with: “OMG, have not played that in years!!” GOO grumbles. WHY? GOO is best at competition and can beat any of us in a game of chance, coordination or athletic ability but, when it comes to the thinking games he realizes I’m supreme. He refuses to play me a game of Trivial Pursuit even though I have about four versions of the game with a ½” of dust cover in same game closet.

As we all know “SCRABBLE”, is a game where smarts can win out … however not when you have FIVE ‘A’s on your easel. The momentum swung back to chance and was all GOO’s. Even with that my GOO still traveled on a low road of self-produced “words” and real word challenges.

• With me now down to FOUR ‘A’s he challenged my “SAX”. Even though I knew it would be in the dictionary I changed it to “SEX”. Still had to keep FOUR ‘A’s though.
• When he put down “JAX” on a double word score, I looked at daughter to back me up on a challenge … she wasn’t sure and we let it go.
• When “KRUD” hit the board on a triple word score daughter and knew we needed the dictionary on hand. Sorry GOO …. it was a no go. Then he tried “GRON” same spot …. Bizzzzzzzzzz …. strike TWO …. guess who had the ‘A’ he needed.
• He then challenged my triple letter “TRODE” … maybe next time GOO I still have 3 ‘A’s.
• Next GOO turn: “XXXXX”, (daughter and I forgot and GOO won’t Tell us) …. Get it off the board we said.
• He then challenged another word of mine … sorry GOOO and then my 2 word build-off of “LAVA” into “LAVAS”. Daughter could not back me up on the plural. FYI - it is a word!!!!
• GOO tries to strike back with a 2 word build-off of his own with “DR” in the mix. Seriously, did he think we were asleep by then.

In the end, FIVE “A”s and a “JAX” finished my superior reign as queen of the “SCRABBLE” board. Wait till next time GOO ….. I’m getting that 20lb dictionary out of the bookcase first.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERNEST BORGNINE

Today he is 95 ……. 95!!!! .....still working and still appears to have all his faculties. Quick facts:

Ø Best Actor Academy Winner for Marty in 1955 …. and you thought his claim to fame was a voice on SpongeBob SquarePants

Ø Was married to Ethel Merman for 32 days

Ø He is presently married for almost 40 years to his present wife TOVA … of QVC beauty products fame

Ø Was actually IN the Navy for 10 years … that's why he looked so comfy in "McHale’s Navy" uniform

Ø Auditioned for the role of Vito Corleone .... I could see it!!!

Ø Was the very first “center” square on the premiere of Hollywood Squares

His stout stature only proves he has the key to a long vibrant life …. Bye bye diet Gods ... I no longer have to aspire to be a size 2 to get there with him!

THE HOUSE THAT JOEPA BUILT

Whatever the circumstances JoePa left PENN STATE in …. Did he do enough or didn’t he?? …. won’t be questioned by his supporters any more. I only hope that the evil disturbing man that initiated JoePa's untimely departure will get his in TENFOLD.

My ex-Bro-in-law is a PENN STATE alumnus who buys PENN STATE football season tickets every year and pretty much spends most of the game partying in the parking space he “donated” $5,000 for, right up against Beaver Stadium ….. PENN STATE’s football stadium by the way! He gave me his ticket to me once and my sister and I went inside to watch the football game. I'm not really a big fan of college football. I only went in for one reason: Just so I could say I saw Joe Paterno coach a game. Who knew how much longer Joe Paterno … who was 77 at the time … would be coaching afterall?

When we got to the “seats” ….. actually they are bleachers with painted lines denoting how much space you are allotted ….. I could not help but take in how immense Beaver Stadium is ….. give me a break I’m a civil engineer … I build things … I could care less about football game remember?? .... It was the structure that caught my eye. I had to ask someone … probably not my BIL. He had been in the parking lot too long by then & actually I think it was Sis … to find out it held about 100,000 people. Okay not the biggest ... the 2nd ... but 100,000 PEOPLE AT A COLLEGE GAME???? .... the entire population of State College PA is only 42,000+ .... As soon as the query popped in my head I knew what the answer was. Most were there for the same reason I walked in to that stadium. Beaver Stadium was built in the ‘60’s for 46,000+. Joe Paterno started coaching 1966. They have been making additions ever since. Will PENN STATE fans still fill it now that the major attraction is gone?

I’m should say I'm a PITT grad ..... now you understand my surprise to see 100,000 at a football game! .... Not so long ago the PITT vs. PENN STATE was one of the greatest football rivalries of all time. PITT football has always envied one thing PENN STATE had and now its gone. And most likely will never be seen again.

DOES ANYONE EVEN CARE ANY MORE?

There is a new MISS AMERICA ...... so what you say? .... Can you even name her or the woman behind her??? ... assuming its last year's Miss A ... I can't either. I remember when watching this was a big deal and just about everyone with a TV set tuned in to root for their home State " delegate". I was surprised to learn a few years ago its not in Atlantic City anymore .... from 1921 till 2005 ... or even on the weekend after LABOR DAY .... originally the pageant was a ploy to keep AC beach goers around for a few extra weeks .... the tradition is lost ..... Bert Parks and all.

This was early reality TV .... now if they would add some cat fights it would be as popular as JERSEY SHORE ... HELL .... its was the Jersey Shore of the 60's after all !!!!!!

HO HUM ..... Maybe its time to make this truly a "scholarship" .... $50,0000??? sign ME up! ..... program and have them all write a nice essay!

IRRITAGING CRAP MY HUSBAND DOES ……. Or THE ways NOT to use to sway your wife into watching the same TV Shows ...a working title

My husband …. the God Of Organization … GOO for short … has an obsession with a newer hit TV show called “The Walking Dead” ….. AND he wants me to watch it too!! He keeps trying to give me the low down on the episodes. I don’t need to hear about the “BARN” OR how the “Walking Dead” surrounded some “heroes” into a corner and now they are flesh eating zombies OR how people do desperate things to survive: a.k.a., the episode where 2 “heroes” running away from a pack of Walking Dead and one “hero” shoots the other “hero” in the leg so he can get away …. WTF???? I don’t want that vision in my head! This show sounds suspiciously like “Night of the Living Dead” only in soap opera form. I’ve seen “Night of the Living Dead” once .... and never again ... in my life …. mostly from behind a pillow …. even then I caught a glimpse of a ghoul eating someone’s intestines ….. how sick is that???? …. I still have that vision in my head from 30 years ago!

Other than the classics, I cannot do the modern horror “entertainment” concept. “The Walking Dead” is the NO. 1 show on cable. Obviously, there is a good part of the populous that enjoys this entertainment. I cannot join them. Too much suspense?? Blood and gore?? …. putting myself in the actors place and imagine myself in that situation for real ?? Some kind of mystical power being hunting me down for supper???? … and if you finally kill the thing that is trying to eat you ….. IT COMES BACK …. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA …… if not at the end of the movie then in parts II, III, IV, V, VI VII …… it never dies … there is no hope …. I must have hope at the end!!!

GOO doesn’t get it … he thinks I also forgot how he tricked me twice into going to see the movies “Poltergeist” & “Creep Show” when we were dating ….. never again … I’m on to him !!!!!

NOW it is time to take down the Christmas decorations!

One of my holiday pet peeves … there are many! I’m only tackling this one … are people who rip down their Christmas holiday decorations the DAY AFTER Christmas. What is wrong with these people?

I have TWO things to preach here: FIRST, do these dim-wits even realize the “holiday” is NOT over? Apparently, not. Christmas has little to do with Christian religion as they may think but, more with ancient mysticism of incorporating a spiritual connection to nature and (wo)man. Hmmmmm…. sound familiar? ….. That’s right …. Christmas season actually follows the Pagan tradition of celebrating the winter solstice …. Man’s respect to the forces of nature. How did they become connected? FACT: ….. no one knows when Christ was actually born. There are however writings/ claims that it was a winter month. So, in the early organization of the Roman Catholic Church they adopted many of the established pagan celebrations to “fit” the established traditions of those they were trying convert.

The term “Yuletide” is actually a winter solstice festival that could last up to 2 months in some earlier Germanic Pagan cultures. Perhaps it was from this those early Christian leaders … who apparently had problems coming up with their own holidays …. invoked the celebration of the "Twelve days of Christmas", ...... FIIIIIIIVE GOLDEN RIIIINGS ..... which end on the “12th Night” ….. a celebration immortalized in Shakespeare ….. which ends coincidentally on the Christian feast day of the Epiphany. "12th Night" was actually the high celebratory night of the season in English tradition and became instilled into the early Colonial American culture. Somehow it has been lost through the stirring of the melting pot and we are down to only getting December 25th off from work.

So, if you missed it, yesterday was 12th Night/Epiphany. The holiday is now officially over. If you’re a Germanic Pagan however you have a few more weeks …… doesn’t explain the icicle lights in May though!

My SECOND point, it took me 3 weeks to put it all up all these decorations I have all over my house. For crikees sake, I would like to look at and enjoy my handiwork for a while!

2012 - A YEAR FOR REVIVAL

Ahhhhh ...... I plan to blog again ...... I had a semi-depressing year. My mom died but do not take mention of that for seeking sympathy. People die, parents die, friends die .... I pride myself on being the realist and being the strong reliable one.

I think what I have discovered over the last year is that my family (a.k.a., brothers, sister, father) are bad at the realities of life ... or maybe they are better at it than me ... hmmmmmm... CONFUSED?!?!?!? SO am I! My father only wants to talk about how much he misses my Mom. I'm the only one he has to talk about that though. The rest of my brothers and sister are no where to be found. They barely talk to Dad and rely on me (because I live the closest .... one of sibs said this to me) to see to his physiological needs. More later I'm sure .............
My career has been going pretty well .... almost afraid to say that since my last jobs ended in layoffs .... such is the way of construction.

My New Year's resolutions:

Lose weight ... duh ... of course !
Exercise more ... see sarcastic comment above
Be the better Person .... if you only knew the opposite my mom taught me ...... she was a "Sashide" girl after all!
Give it to my sis and bros in such a manipulative way they do not know they were insulted until after I hung up ... if I can get them on the phone however .... sigh!