DWTS CAST ANNOUNCED

They announce the “Stars”(?) for DWTS. If you do not know what the initials DWTS mean, then let me help you get that rock off your back. I’m not a fan of the DWTS show. Not that I don’t like it, I just don’t care. The B-list and washed up celebs that make-up most of the cast do not interest me. I have to admit, I watched the end show last season. I only watched because I had a school girl crush on Donny and HE WON!!!!!!! ... doin' my in your face dance ..... Frankly, I also have to admit Joanna(?) was the better of the two technically.

How did Donny win then? Donny deserved the win because he is a showman. ....And .... Well …. its because old folks watch DWTS. Its true! According to tvbythenumbers.com …. Go to archives …… last season the coveted 18-49 year demographics that TV execs strive for did not even have this show in their top 20 most weeks. Yet, DWTS is a top 10 ratings buster in overall viewership. That means who pushes it to the top is … the old folks. That’s why Donny Osmond, a 52 year old pop singer from the 60’s/70’s won. OLD FOLKS RULE HERE!

So, I know how the show voting works. Even without having to watch it, I can predict the winner. HOW? By previous season’s hype and recaps everywhere …TV, print, Internet ….. I have been subjected to over the years and can’t escape, I know what the old folks are voting for and shall make the following predictions this season:

Buss Aldrin – Sentimental favorite & national hero. Obviously, at 80 years old …and looking pretty good I must say …… will he, can he keep up with the “young-ins”? I expect him to stick around for a little while. Don’t forget old folks watch this show. They will vote for one of their own: Out week 3 or 4 maybe even as late as 6.

Pamela Anderson – I’ve seen her strut her stuff on runways, swing on stripper poles and run down sandy beaches but can she hold her own on the dance floor? We know she will look good in the costumes! Ask any 70 year old guy and he knows who she is. Pam is maybe the biggest star power in this overall line-up. For that alone: Out week 4 or 5; maybe even final 3 if she can actually dance!

Erin Andrews - America’s “Sexist Sportscaster”. But can she dance? Nothing in her bios can tell you. What it does tell you: she is an athlete. Basketball to be precise. So, she’ll have the conditioning …. She already has the bod …… she has a fan base ……. she is on a sports channel. I see her hanging around like the other athletes. Old people like wholesome athletes, unless she has two left feet: 2 or 3 if she does; maybe as long as 7 or 8 if she doesn’t

Shannen Doherty – Shannen is a sweet face known as a bad girl. She has the reputation that she gets along with no one after a while. Her star power probably rates as high as Pam’s though. Shannen also has stayed out of the tabloids for something despicable in the last few months …. I think? She was a child actress and those old folks probably remember her from “Little House on the Prairie” days. If she truly is a reformed “Train Wreck”: Out week 5 or 6; week 1 or 2 if the train is still chugging.

Kate Gosselin – Annnnd speaking of “train wrecks” , the biggest reality whore of the year made the cut! ABC is obviously looking for some ratings by having this, much viled by the general TV public, creature included. At least she did not hawk out the kids for her first TV venture on her own. Oh wait … this IS Kate Gosselin …. so be sure to tune in when she parades them across the stage for the sympathy vote ... but old folks are on to that stuff. Judging by those cankles, I’d say just like her career there is little or no dance talent evident. The Khaters club may keep her around for few laughs. Her desperate little fan base might be able to keep her going for a while but with so few of them ….. not for long: out week 2 or 3 if Kate’s fans can figure out how to vote; 1 or 2 if they can’t.

Evan Lysacek – What can I say …. hot off a recently televised gold medal win in the Olympics …. maligned by an evil narcissistic Russian … Putin or Plushenko, take your pick …… hot bod …. love story of two Olympic sweetheart champions going on AND well know for artistic talent AND more importantly the old folks know him: Final 3 …. actually THE WINNER!

Nicey Nash – Nicey has quite a little fan base going with all the feature roles in TV and movies. From her web site she states she received her inspiration to become an entertainer as an ardent admirer of Lola Falana. Old people know who Lola is … use it Nicey! Lola is a dancer so, I’m gonna say Nicey had a few dance lessons replicating the career of her idol or just had some natural talent .... unlike other people in the line-up. Either way Nicely will surprise: Out week 7 or 8.

Chad Ochocino – I don’t know why but athletes ….. good or bad as dancers ……. stick around on this show. Ochocino is a wide receiver. I can’t say I’ve seen him play. I do however have this vision ….. being from Pittsburgh ….. in remembering Steeler wide receiver Lynn Swann … old folks do too …. taking ballet lessons to improve his game. SO, putting that in the mix; wide receivers = a pretty graceful bunch: Out week 6 or 7

Jake Pavelka – Fresh off a highly rated “The Bachelor” …. another show I try not to watch! Does he have any “loyal” type fan base though? He is another reality whore … and an ABC’s whore at that ……. in my book that equals no actual star power. Do old folks even watch the bachelor? Unless he has some hidden dance talent I don’t know about: Out 3 or 4 if he does; 1 or 2 if he doesn’t.

Nicole Scherzinger – Never knew her name till now. Then again, I’m not a fan of the “Pussycat Dolls” of which she was a member of. I’ve heard of them, just don’t ask me one of their hits. What I do know about the Pussycat Dolls is they can dance, sing and look good on stage. Even though the old folks have probably never heard of her either she undoubtly has some sort of talent. It may actually be unfair to the others that she is competing. Old folks are fair and recognize talent! This girl is going nowhere for a while: Final 3

Aiden Turner – A soap opera star. Hmmmm ….. I don’t know …. very good looking though …… sophisticated British accent ……. could be a dark horse …. Men really do not really need to do much in these dance teams …. Looks like he has dancer’s bod .… may remind old folks of Bond ....... James Bond: Final 3

(AP Photo/David J. Phillip, file)