FEMALE FIREFIGHTERS FIGHTING FIRE ... uuuuh ... Wait a minute?!?

Did you see this? (click) When I first saw this .... the forward thinker that I am .... I thought "What is the big deal? SO, the ladies had to come from some wedding to put out the car fire!" Not quite. Those are male firefighters who jump off their fundraising float ..... not sure how that works dressing in drag to raise money ....... in a parade to put this fire out.

This reminded me of a riddle I heard as a kid in the '70's ... I saw it later in an "All In the Family" episode too ..... I was hangin' at the community pool when this annoying younger kid I usually avoided came up to tell me this riddle:

• A man and his son are driving home from a basketball game,when they have a terrible accident.The man is taken to the emergency room for treatment and the boy is taken straight to the operating table. The surgeon comes over to the operating table, sees the boy and says,"I can't operate on this patient, he's my son!" Who is the doctor?

I gave her that tiresome look like I always gave her .... in my head I was saying what kind of riddle is this you weirdo ........... and blurted out: "It's his mother!". To her surprise I knew the answer.

Why wasn't I suppose to know the answer? Did I mention it was the '70's? This riddle stumped many many many people then because no one could imagine or even dare think women could be surgeons ....... ladies things have changed for the better some what! However, now I see men in drag and think they are women just doing their job.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. ROGERS

sniff sniff ..... Can it be? Fred Rogers has been gone for 9 years now. Since I grew-up in Pittsburgh, I always thought he was just a local show. I never realized how many generations of children .... including my own .... nation wide he mesmerized till probably the Saturday Night Live skit with Eddie Murphy.

Even though I probably came close ..... being in the same "neighborhood" so to speak .... I never bumped into him around here. The closest I ever came to him, other than the TV set, was the time one of my mothers friends was a fairy Godmother on one of his earlier PBS shows.

Hopefully, the innocent appeal of his many characters will remain in repeats a long long time for many more generations.

TRIVIA TIME:

• McFeely, was his middle name as well as his much loved Grandfather. The Mr. McFeely character is alive and well in Pittsburgh. He still is a staple making appearances at local TV and events.
• Fred's mom made most of the sweaters he wore on the show.
• He was an ordained Minister
• Pittsburgh locals Micheal Keaton and Ming Na got their acting starts in the "Neighborhood". I swear Dennis Miller got a start their too but, I can't find the confirmation on the net.

THE VOTE FOR BETTER AMERICA -2012

Rick Santorum has now focused on one of the country’s most pressing issues as he sees it from his campaign trail. Yes, Americans when Rick is President ….. Gaaaaaag ……. He will save all Americans from the dreaded porn industry because as you know this is what is really bring down the American economy and world opinion of us. Yes Americans, forget that old tired on-going, fiscal draining, brave military killing, hunting down the “destroy America” terrorists war in Afghanistan. Forget about the fact you cannot find a decent paying job, the bank is foreclosing on your home and your kids are strung out on drugs. Rick’s says you do not need free welfare programs or foods stamps or medical assistance …. That’s your problem …. Rick says buck up and deal with it!

The government should not be providing for its citizens!!!!! America’s REAL problem is the fact that your morals are not the same as Rick’s. YES ….. when Rick is President, we will all become Christians with strict moral values and PORN IS OUT!!!! You cannot be watching that stuff on TV or the internet or in a movie or magazine. SO censorship is what the government should really be doing. After all, we should be in church, those slags will have to get off their birth control and have babies as GOD intended, …. Everyone should only be having sex if they are married anyway …… and we shall ship all those Gays off to Samoa because they should not be mixing with us God fearing people. THIS will repair things in America …. wave your flags now! ˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

And speaking of terrorists is not their war on Americans ….. I’m not a political analyst just an observer ….. based on religious morals? Who is to say whose morals are God’s preferred? RICK?

Sometimes Rick and his idealized scruples just need to shut-up!

COCKTAIL TIME!

Fresh from a weekend of girlfriends, cocktails, food, games, food, cocktails, gossip, food, cocktails, music, cocktails, food & my favorite ..... every one's cocktail-food ..... shrimp! So, after eating my share of the succulent platter and thinking all that could possibly happen is elevated cholesterol ... I just by chance RE-read an article I forgot all about: The Five Grossest Things You Can Eat! You guess it, smack in the middle of that list is shrimp! Having two little beady eyes looking at you and a slimy black vein to remove are the least of the gross issue.

What makes them so gross they are one of the grossiest things? Most of the thin shelled ones are imported from "farms" overseas .... hmmmmmm could that be China ..... whose tanks are plied with chemicals to disinfect their filthy farming pens. Add to that our pinky friends are also snacking on and swimming in Rat turds and bugs. Yummy! Only 20% of the farmed imports are even inspected!!! .... WTF??? You want better .... there is better ...say it ... say it ... say it with me now .... DOMESTIC !!!! That's right the best and safest is home grown from the Gulf. When will we learn to eat what's in our own backyards. Sigh!

THE EASY WAY OUT ......

I’m still tired from "Girlfriend" weekend this past week soooooo… I'm just taking the easy way out … to show I am alive also … just going to wish Happy Birthday to obscure celebs today …… see if you can remember where you saw them before:

Our first birthday girl would have been 96 today. Where oh .... oh where have you seen her?

On the right, this Birthday boy is 66 ...he is .... he is ... he is ... I'm not telling ... yet!

Here is our Birthday Boy on the left: ... com'on you know that face! He is 54 today if that helps! Where did you first see him? Hmmmmmmmm .......

GIVE UP YET????

VIRGINIA GREGG ........ famous character actress in both TV and a few movies of the 50's-80's ... was the voice of Norman Bates mother in Psycho I, II & III, appeared on Dragnet 13 x's, Gunsmoke 7x's, Twilight Zone, Alfred Hitchcock presents, and every other TV show in between.

MARTIN KOVE ....... most famous for being the "chauvinist pig" of Cagney and Lacey and the bad guy in The Karate Kid movies

EDDIE DEEZEN .... most famous for "Eugene" in Grease!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BERNADETTE!

64 AND STILL ROCKIN' THE BOD! I always wanted to rock that hair! Singer, Actress, writer she is one of the few that transcends Stage, Screen and TV. The first time I saw her was in the TV special "Once Upon a Mattress" 1972.

• "IT" girl of the '70's and '80's
• She is of Italian decent
• As an attempt to rid herself of the ethic sounding name of Lazzara .... as it was frown upon in the 60's when she started ....... Peter(s) was her father's first name
• Dated .... or rumored to have "dated" .... Steve Martin, Warren Beatty (no surprise he's on everyone's list) and Clint Eastwood.
• Appeared in Playboy ... see the pic above .... but covered in Bob Mackie lingerie!!!

IRRITAGING CRAP MY HUSBAND DOES ……. Or THE FAST way BACK TO THE FUTURE ...a working title

Its time for a GOO tale. I’ve been saving this because I never write angry … yeah right.

A few weekends back we picked up Daddy and thought we would take him to Breakfast …. Hint hint bros and sis ….. On the way we drove through the County Park. We drive through this park at least once a week. On the main road of the park is a roundabout of sorts. Once GOO pulled out of his intersecting street and halfway thru the circle he spied a snow pile and then …. SUDDENLY .... he time warped in to a revelation he was 10 years old again!

There he was with head full of brown hair and adolescent disobedience. A 10 year old, with more athletic talent beyond his hero’s ….. Willie Stargell. All this combined with his shiny KIA sled with 4 new expensive rubber bumpers he saved up for. With ardent ambition to show-off and impress the pretty little blonde hair girl next door, he swooshed his sled across the Bering curve in the road, swiftly avoiding the obstacles of the other “sledders” and crashed into the enormous snow pile only to

… KER-KLUUUUNK!!!

It was 2012 again !!! Wait … The pretty little blonde is .... uuummmm ….. matured but .... not looking to happy. “What was that?” the boy from the past said. Blondie replied,”I think you hit the CURB!” ….. “you MORON” she said in her head. Daddy in the car remember? …………………….

A few minutes down the road the car passengers hear THIIIISSSSUMP BUUUMP BUUMP BUMP BUUMP BUUMP The kid all grown-up says “What is that?”. Blondie replied,”I think you have a FLAT!” ….. “You absolute MORON … plus a few other things ”, she said in her head. DADDY!!! ……

From a cold and frigid, "closed on Sundays", neighborhood strip mall parking lot the blonde girl SUDDENLY is whisked into the future by 2 hours and finds herself home with the man who just put a slice in the side of her $200 tire. She was feeling all the decades of bitch!

Ho Hum …. still trying to stay on my New Year’s resolution of lose weight, exercise more or at the very least ….. eat better! So far, after 1 -1/2 months we have Weight loss: 2 lbs … better than gaining I guess ... joined a gym … started out at 5 times now I’m down to paltry 1-2 times a week … I’m headed there now.

We came back from shopping a little while ago and I bought my new "try-it" veggie: Swiss Chard. Saw it on the info screen that flashes nutritional information while I was on the treadmill at the gym … Yeah, yeah I’m going ……. I‘ve heard of it before but I don’t know what I’m going to do with it. But, hey the info board says it is really really really nutritional!!! Actually THE healthiest veggie out there …. I'll let you know about that when I figure out what it is going to go with … or in …. or by itself … with spices ... its pretty ... maybe it will look good in vase?

I'm sorry ... but who would watch this? Whitney Houston was one of the greatest singers and undoubtly will join the other "gone before their time" legends but, I do not want to watch her funeral .... on my computer/TV no less! Did not want to see her leave this earth the way she did but please can someone explain wanting to watch her family suffer her loss via video stream ... or for that matter her family agreeing to it?

Warning … NOT JUST FOR THE KIDS ANYMORE

Okay here is something "silly" but, true. So be warned .… I burned my face. A second degree burn with a blister, no less. Don’t worry I’m not terribly marred for life, the mark is about a 1/8” round … pimple size if you will. How did I do such a stupid thing? I was lighting a candle. The matches I used were those boxed stick matches you see at check-out. Never had issue before but we bought the larger, longer, sturdier ones apparently. They were out of them at Christmas time so we bought the shorter ones …. STAY AWAY FROM THEM …. They are very flimsy, both the sulfur tip and the wooden part. My “accidents” with them have been:

• · On lighting the fireplace. The wood stick broke in half 3 different times burn my hand, shirt and started some pine branch needles ... that I was going to use for kindling ... on fire ... before I got them on the fire!
• · Lit a (different) candle. I watched the sulfur tip fly back and land on the rug. You guessed it … burn my rug!!!

The last straw was when I was lighting a candle in the bathroom before company arrived. Sulfur tip flew back at me, landed and stuck on my cheek .... OUCH!!!! ... could not get it off fast enough before the damage was done. Finally threw the dozen pack away. I can’t even blame China … they were made in the USA!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAYTON

LOOOK AT HIMMM! Our adorable puppy is NINE years old today.

GOO drove 10 miles to the closest Baskin & Robbins to buy him a birthday cake for later. YES we are truly crazy dog people !!

MORE CONGENIAL COMMENTS FROM THE WORLD OF FASHION

NO this not about Gisele sticking her other Yeti sized foot in her mouth ..... but from the world that revolves around Karl Lagerfeld who says Adele is "a little too fat". Weellll, Karl should know all about getting rid of a little fat. Nine years ago he lost 92 lbs ......... that would be Karl in 2002 on the left and the 2012 svelte Karl on the right ........ Hmmmmmmm ..... on second thought Adele if your alternative is the look on the right maybe you need to stay just the way you are ....

DEAR GOD, BLESS THE UNBLESSED ... WILL YA!!

Its SUPERBOWL day .... yawn! ..... and the biggest news story I've heard all week is that Gisele Bundchen stuck her size 11's in her mouth again! Oh yes! ... please please please ... pray for Tom Brady to get another $100K Superbowl ring. Seriously!?!?!?!

Okay, so the world let Gisele know now that GOD has better things to do than dole out additional unnecessary blessings to the more than they deserve already blessed. Which come to think of it ... I'm gonna get a little "catty" here ..... the Bundchen supermodel career is a life learning testament to all those so-called 6 foot "ugly ducklings" out there suffering in high school land. Did you ever take a good look at Gisele. This is no "jaw dropping beauty" ... as I often see her touted ... she is pretty plain Jane, maybe even ... dare I say it ... kinda homely! Do you really think a high school Tom Brady ... undoubtly the school's Mr. popular .... would have even taken a second look at her then. HELL NO!!!! ..... I guarantee he was dating the prettiest petite blonde cheerleader with the biggest boobs and roundest camel butt.

So with that I say to Gisele .... GOD has already blessed you with an over rated fruitful career, an NFL superstar to snuggle up to at night, enough money to bail out Greece and has enabled you to cast some spell over shorter men who look up and see an average girl as some sort of goddess ..... must be those Victoria Secret wings she prances around in. Indeed, Gisele is proof there is hope for the rest of us .... although being 6 foot and 120 lbs may help too.

Photo credit: Joe Kohen/Getty

IRRITATING CRAP MY HUSBAND (the GOO man) DOES Or the lengths GOO will go to win a game …a working title ….

Last night turned into an unplanned “Family Game Night”. Youngest stayed in because her car had a flat tire. Ironically, the second one within our family inside a week ….. our mechanic guy now loves us ….. ALSO FODDER FOR A FUTURE GOO TALE!!! SO, there we are in front of the fire, figuring out what game we should all play. Youngest goes to the game closet and picks out “SCRABBLE”. Her and I are on board with: “OMG, have not played that in years!!” GOO grumbles. WHY? GOO is best at competition and can beat any of us in a game of chance, coordination or athletic ability but, when it comes to the thinking games he realizes I’m supreme. He refuses to play me a game of Trivial Pursuit even though I have about four versions of the game with a ½” of dust cover in same game closet.

As we all know “SCRABBLE”, is a game where smarts can win out … however not when you have FIVE ‘A’s on your easel. The momentum swung back to chance and was all GOO’s. Even with that my GOO still traveled on a low road of self-produced “words” and real word challenges.

• With me now down to FOUR ‘A’s he challenged my “SAX”. Even though I knew it would be in the dictionary I changed it to “SEX”. Still had to keep FOUR ‘A’s though.
• When he put down “JAX” on a double word score, I looked at daughter to back me up on a challenge … she wasn’t sure and we let it go.
• When “KRUD” hit the board on a triple word score daughter and knew we needed the dictionary on hand. Sorry GOO …. it was a no go. Then he tried “GRON” same spot …. Bizzzzzzzzzz …. strike TWO …. guess who had the ‘A’ he needed.
• He then challenged my triple letter “TRODE” … maybe next time GOO I still have 3 ‘A’s.
• Next GOO turn: “XXXXX”, (daughter and I forgot and GOO won’t Tell us) …. Get it off the board we said.
• He then challenged another word of mine … sorry GOOO and then my 2 word build-off of “LAVA” into “LAVAS”. Daughter could not back me up on the plural. FYI - it is a word!!!!
• GOO tries to strike back with a 2 word build-off of his own with “DR” in the mix. Seriously, did he think we were asleep by then.

In the end, FIVE “A”s and a “JAX” finished my superior reign as queen of the “SCRABBLE” board. Wait till next time GOO ….. I’m getting that 20lb dictionary out of the bookcase first.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERNEST BORGNINE

Today he is 95 ……. 95!!!! .....still working and still appears to have all his faculties. Quick facts:

Ø Best Actor Academy Winner for Marty in 1955 …. and you thought his claim to fame was a voice on SpongeBob SquarePants

Ø Was married to Ethel Merman for 32 days

Ø He is presently married for almost 40 years to his present wife TOVA … of QVC beauty products fame

Ø Was actually IN the Navy for 10 years … that's why he looked so comfy in "McHale’s Navy" uniform

Ø Auditioned for the role of Vito Corleone .... I could see it!!!

Ø Was the very first “center” square on the premiere of Hollywood Squares

His stout stature only proves he has the key to a long vibrant life …. Bye bye diet Gods ... I no longer have to aspire to be a size 2 to get there with him!